I didn’t know you were a landscaper ….

Can we examine what Jim Carrey has done and how Jim Carrey is trying to change the landscape of the country and become a thought leader?

He provided us laughs in “Dumb and Dumber“, “Ace Ventura“, “In Living Color“. He sucked us in like “The Godfather“. Did he know laughter is an emotional hug? How Machiavellian is his thinking? One day were are laughing at the “Mask” and the next, reveling in the glory of “Andy Kaufman“. Prophetically, we are looking at the horrors of reality TV in the “Truman Show“. Introspectively, I am thinking about the nature of lying in “Liar, Liar“. He is exposing corruption in “Dick and Jane“. He is massaging my obsession with numbers in the “Number 23. Don’t get me started on the “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind“, “Bruce Almighty” or “Horton Hears a Who” (which is really about our need to be heard!). Oh, and then, there it is “A Series of Unfortunate of Events“. How the art direction was like a tall drink of water on a hot day – child brides, digital storytelling, the shitshow that can happen when you don’t prepare for the inevitable, how the proximity to a situation changes everything (more on that later).

And look at how far he has come now – he has found balance! He is no longer living in a van, no longer pissed about the sins of his father. He looks at life with a child-like glee that most of you will never know. He can create his own sandbox, paint, sculpt (I remember his figurine about insomnia.) He knows how to silo a situation. His movies are subconsciously telling you that all is not what it seems, as the dark side of capitalism and narcissistic abuse is exposed in “Yes, Man“. We invited him into our living room because hilarity ensues, just to have him expand our brain without hallucinogens? (I refuse to believe he is that devious, but maybe he did it for our benefit. Maybe he is primal enough to believe this is all to our benefit. Maybe he is right. No, surely he is right. No, that’s the Jim I know. He’s just an accidental capitalist.)

Unwittingly, he is exposing the brainwashing behind our news. He should’ve never been lambasted for joking about Fashion Week – comedians make jokes about the plastic nature of Hollywood, the unscrupulous behavior; he is in Anchorman franchise after all. Why is he being punished for that? Why is he being dragged through court like I am? He  (like me) thought toxic behaviors were normal. He (like me) focused on the laughing and fucking. He can seamlessly transcend any role, in part because he has stayed out of the tabloids – he, by all accounts, is not a sex monster! He never pulled a Spacey – the horror of that is too much to attend to here. Nobody survives the scrutiny of the tabloids – his good nature should be your greatest revelation. The absence of malice is now palpable. Day after day, year after year, he tried to avoid drama, but he got backed into a corner and didn’t respond like a Neanderthal. Do you know how hard that is? Do you know your feral reactions are why you are addicted to drugs or sex, or have a preposterous “I shouldn’t have shoved that in there” story at the ER..”? You didn’t realize he runs scenarios better than you, he de-escalates a situation better than you – that’s why we love him.

The hostility of the early universe has calmed down. The plates are in perfect proportion – we no longer have the rainforest situation of Pangea, the snowball Earth of Rodinia. The struggle is over, the anger at a simmer. Now it’s nothing but Goldilocks – Jim has let the hostility of his early universe settle down. Jim has perfected the art of distraction from emotional baggage with his hobbies. He has figured out how to live with his sins and paint at the same time. An empty wall is an artist’s dream! (he has filled our walls with laughter and reality.) The plates are placed perfectly now. All he needed was time and space…

I am clearly passionate about his work! (if you attempt to smear him unnecessarily, I will pull a Lagartha on you and stab you while I’m telling you I love you. My Viking nature will be left unattended for as long as I like, until I have accomplished the appropriate amount of damage.) I have learned to balance my life between plaid boots and light forgery – so can we laugh at that? It truly is not an unconscious attempt to suck you in so will hear my government expose later, I’m just an accidental capitalist. That is a nice benefit, like finding a delicious shroom you forgot about. Let’s talk. Invite me into your living room. I will have you in stitches; you will witness the horrors of my life. So much dichotomy! You won’t learn from me vicariously like I want you to, like Jim wants you to, because that is not the nature of man. We can’t change the nature of man – for now. (Enough of all this!)

So can we talk about Andy Kaufman now? Anything but this – the nature of the word mad, creativity and art. I love his analogies, his made up words, his metaphors. He is using some of my favorite words like “color“; he is talking about some of my favorite concepts like art defining you, not you defining it.” He has a beautiful mind and I’m choosing to enjoy it. There is no galactic explosion that is going to wipe out this conversation. (Can you just join me and listen to the other side of sanity? I promise you will enjoy it! It will be a tasty treat you will remember when you are hungry. It’s an emotional hug. I promise you that! We’re going to paint the walls now with our side conversations – will you find glee with me?) The colors are so vivid I can taste them. The absence of time is spectacular.

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