Putting lipstick on a pig

lipstickI can’t even believe the rage I felt yesterday! I laid waste to two toxic relationships. One I hope is repairable. The other is about the fact that I showed any inept corporation no mercy; and Verizon doesn’t know it yet, but the 20 year rape off my bank account is over!

I spoke like Samuel L. Jackson yesterday and cracked my friend up in the process… I have NEVER in my life tore someone up like that. I tried to resolve it peacefully… all I got were nasty texts about how my life is pathetic, that my boyfriend is encouraging me to be mean and racist, that my blogs just talk about a bleak and pathetic life, that once my boyfriend dumps me and “I get my head out my ass, I’ll need her friendship.” Wow! Just WOW!

What follows is a hilarious set of insults that are vile in nature. I can admit that. I have never behaved this way in my life and I have been in relationships where I have, literally, walked in on my ex in bed with her – my best friend. I maintained composure even then!

But yesterday I lost it… Besides the favors I outlined yesterday, I have secured no less than three places to live for her. When she wanted to buy a condo on land contract, I supplied the cash: when her father died, I drove her there – because she didn’t have a license; plus, of course, she had no money; I paid for the hotel room – she didn’t even have money for food! Wrap your head around that! Can you possibly imagine your life being so unmanageable that your money went to the bar instead of having even gas money for a funeral? She blows over a .3 pr night (I have a breathalyzer).

The lack of perspective is astounding. The hypocrisy is a level of insanity unparalleled by anything I’ve experienced. The lack of gratitude is mind-blowing. Really! In the end, why am I sharing this? Because is a call to action for any of you in toxic relationships. End it now!

List of insults:

Her: “You’re so toxic. I need to be more positive.
Me: “The only thing you’re positive for is viruses, bitch. I can’t even call you a basic bitch, you can’t even afford basic!”

  • I called her a “blow-up doll“, because she has been passed around this town for 30 years. And everybody laughs when she says she raised her son, as the grandma actually raised him.
  • That she is abusive to her mother (because she is!).
  • That she’ll die from her drinking one day, because that is a distinct possibility and her boyfriend will wake up to a corpse.
  • That she and her boyfriend get along just because he is deaf and she speaks in subtitles. And he can’t hear how awful she sounds!
  • That in 50 years she has managed to only own clothes and jewelry and she had to use men to get that.

Then the analogies with Monica started:

  • That Fidel Castro has saner ideas than her!
  • That Albert Einstein conquered the theory of relativity faster that this bitch can take responsibility!
  • That Anna Nicole Smith stayed sober more often than this asshole!
  • That Helen Keller taught herself to communicate faster than this twat has figured out how to live without a man’s money!
  • That scientologists have a better grasp on reality than this fucker!

And my personal favorite – Artificial Intelligence would become self-aware before this cunt becomes self-aware!

Unbelievably, I’m omitting a large volume of sentence enhancers! But you have to laugh at the pain and that’s what I did.

I can hear laughter from Rita and Karen from here. It is inappropriate, though, as I don’t want to talk like Donald Trump! I just have my boundaries set, that’s all. It’s the easier way to find respect, in the absence of a fishing school.

You’re trying to be positive? I’m positive! You’re the biggest fucking asshole I’ve ever known and that says something, considering that life is like a whack a mole game with assholes.

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